Confessions…

I have a confession to make… I have a thing for hot red heads…. A guy I was in love with for years had red hair, random people I see in the city with red hair… I’m slightly obsessed with Rupert Grint…

 

I’ve just spent the last hour and forty minutes watching Into the White… I repeatedly watch Cherrybomb simply for the fact that there is an almost-sex-scene in it… and don’t get me started on the latest Harry Potter movies. Even when I was a kid and the first movie came out, I had a little crush… It frightens me…! I would do some seriously dirty things to this man…. I don’t even know if I’m allowed to post that kind of a sentence on here..?!

Anyway, I should start a little campaign for myself…. to get as much support as possible for me to meet this guy…! How could I do this without seeming stalker-ish…. or is that even possible!?

I was in London once with students on a drama trip and we met Robert Sheehan… I didn’t take much notice of him at all because at the time I didn’t have a clue who he was (I know, how is that possible…. Your answer: I don’t watch tv!) So, I came home and watched Cherrybomb and realised who he was and instead of being all crazy-happy that I’d met him for his amazing talent, I was delighted with myself for meeting someone who had actually talked to/interacted with/probably touched Rupert Grint!

I know – I’m extremely sad and pathetic and lonely. However, no matter what you say or think, it could never take away from the raw sex appeal that I feel this man has…. yum…. over and out! 🙂

Softly Sleep… zzz…

So, I haven’t posted anything for a while. I feel guilty about that – and I don’t really know why because I’m not sure if many people care that much about what I have to say!

My life suddenly turned hectic. Two weeks ago I went for a job interview and got the job. And for the last two weeks straight I’ve been working two jobs, six day weeks. The teaching position is part time but the school which I work in is quite disadvantaged and the work is emotionally draining as well as intellectually.

Tonight is the first night I’ve had in ages where I really don’t have anything to do. I could have gone out, but I’m far too tired. My eyes are burning in my head and people think I’ve been crying but it’s merely exhaustion. I can’t wait until I can give up my job in the shop. I love the teaching and I really do believe that teaching is what I live for – the small differences we make as teachers can be huge in someone’s lifetime.

Because of the eye-burning and the exhaustion I cannot stay long. I need to sleep. I can’t wait to sleep! 🙂

The First Engagement

Tonight I found out that one of my friends is engaged to her boyfriend of 3 years.

I am incredibly happy for her! I am excited! I am in shock! I am proud! ……. I’m also scared!

You know how you watch those movies/tv shows and you see one girl get married and then her close friend has a major episode of self-analysis?! Take Friends for example: Phoebe gets engaged and hands over her ‘black book’ to Rachel. Rachel tells Phoebe to give it to one of her other single friends and Phoebe replies “You’re the last one!”  That’s the feeling I got when she told me – incredible singleness!

In 21st century Ireland, it is the social norm to get married from 30yrs+. We are way behind the traditions we see in The States where college sweethearts wed after they’ve graduated. We get our lives in gear here as best we can and then settle down.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I believe that, for me, I’m too young to ever be engaged/contemplating marriage. This is the first engagement in my group of friends. It’s scary. But the fact that she’s so up for it – so willing, able, ready, so sure…. it’s only serving as a mental highlighter to the fact that I’m still not sure how I feel about commitment. I would love to be in a position to say “I’m going to marry X”, or “I know for a fact that this is forever”, but the idea of being able to say that is also scary!

I’m going to jump out of my self-absorbed mindset and wish her and her fiancé the absolute best in their future lives together. They are an amazing couple who are soooo well suited, the true definition of a match made in heaven. They give the rest of us a reason to believe that our special someone is out there and waiting! To love, to marriage, and to happily ever afters – I congratulate them both.

Subbing VS Teaching

Today was my first day in a classroom as a qualified teacher. Today was my first day in a senior cycle class alone as the only responsible adult. Today I got my first taste of how hard I am going to have to work.

Being honest I was thrilled to have been asked back to cover classes for the school I did my teacher training in. I was excited, nervous, yet surprisingly calm….

The senior cycle class I had to cover was interesting. They talked and talked and laughed and joked, which is only to be expected really given the fact that their teacher was out. It made me seriously question the authority I have though. I may be a teacher but I’m still only newly qualified. I’m still finding my feet with my profession. I’m still learning. I had no idea what it would take to make the students take me seriously. Now, don’t get me wrong. They really only needed to be quiet for 20mins out of an 80min period, but they couldn’t do it. In the middle of a test these kids chanced their arm. They had textbooks open under the desks, they spoke openly asking one another the answers to the questions and when I tried to get them to stop they really didn’t take a bit of notice.

I remember well what it was like to have a free class in school. If we didn’t know the teacher that was covering the class then we really didn’t care. At all. But being an individual at the front of a group of thirty determined and defiant teens is not easy.

I’m in school again tomorrow and have been warned by the teacher who is missing that the class are “extremely lively” – in other words “be ready to rip your hair out!” I’m a little scared. To make matters worse, my aunt is a Special Needs Assistant in the school and is going to be in this class, this crazy class of children. This might seem reassuring to some, but for me its not. I know that I will be judged on every single thing that I do when I’m in front of her. I love her, but she’s a bit of a know-it-all. I’m really not looking forward to it.

Other than that rant – and thank you for reading my weird thoughts – things are quite good. I feel really happy today. Things are taking a turn for the better. I’m in a school, it might just be for two days but its school nonetheless. I’ve got a job interview for next Thursday and even though I know I won’t really get the job because of my qualification, I’m excited about the interview experience. To be honest, I thought I would be content with doing some substitution in my old school, but, and I realised this today for the first time, subbing isn’t teaching. I want to teach not sit and watch and give out. I want to interact, to inspire, to encourage. I won’t get that from subbing.

I’ve filled out a job application for a job for an English teacher today and I’m going to post it out tomorrow. Its maternity leave and it is just English – which really is ideal – so I sincerely hope that I get an interview at least. Who knows what might be around the corner!

There are only two days i…

There are only two days in the year that nothing can be done. One is called yesterday and the other is called tomorrow, so today is the right day to love, believe, do and mostly live.
— Dalai Lama

Drinking and how it lead to crossing something off my bucket list :o

Anyone who read my post on having a bucket list and who have seen the page about the Bucket List will see that something has now been crossed off….thats right…”Have a One Night Stand”

I don’t know whether or not I should be proud of this one being crossed off or not….?!

The story begins in a house party where my friends and I start my birthday celebrations….we then wind up in a bar with buckets (quite literally children’s buckets which they build sandcastles in) of drinks…then we move on to a club which, admittedly, is where things get hazy. A man/customer I know from the shop I work in hit on me, trying to say that even though he is the same age as my parents that he really likes me…(wtf?!) and no he is not the ONS guy! That whole situation was a bit of a weird one to be honest….how I wound up in that one is beyond me!

Anywho, the next thing I remember is talking to a guy I know and having a big Deep Meaningful Conversation about my ex and how he is worried about him….when one of the girls arrives over with this pretty handsome guy – who did turn out to be the ONS 😉 We went back to a house party and had a great night which involved drinking vodka straight (and I never ever drink vodka) and getting to know this guy a bit better.

In a way this was good for me – I don’t trust people easily at all but had a great night with a group of people that I don’t really know! There was a bit of an ‘accident’ though with the contraception and now I’m terrified of what the next month might bring but I think I should be ok….? I woke up in the morning a little panicky and left without really saying much other than bye and no numbers were exchanged. (Whether that’s a good or bad thing I don’t know) I found him on Facebook but I didn’t add him… I don’t know if I want to… he’s a lovely guy and we had fun… but I kind of want to leave it as it is. I don’t want to be the girl that does the chasing any more.

Saturday/Sunday left me in a zombie-like state which I have now thankfully recovered from! I don’t feel as anxious about the whole accident situation and, if truth be told, crossing something off my bucket list KICKED ASS!!!!!!!