Time to Go Home

I’m not saying it would be easy.
We’re willing to take it.
“I’m dying” you say, with tears falling
into crevices lying deep in your cheeks.

What is holding you here?
What is it that makes you stay –
when all you’ve ever known is no more.
Your mind lives in a different time.

The woman you ask for is gone.
She’s had her rest – well deserved.
Go to meet her.
She cannot come back to you.
She has gone home,
to her babies beloved.
Both had waited far too long
to feel their mother’s embrace.

Don’t be afraid to go home.
You deserve a rest from
constant confusion.

We’ll be ok.

We can take it.

Happy Christmas?

A soft tear fell
as we stood, and prayed.
Admired decorations meant
to brighten up your grave.

We stood, resigned,
while your husband stared
into eyes of ‘strangers’
visiting who’s not there.

Later I went
to the other side.
Noise, laughter,
Hugs, Smiles.

Ties have weakened
since you’ve passed.
Your memory, your love,
Forever will last.

Be

I dreamt of a world far and free.
With warm winds and soft smiles.

The earth soft, the people pure,
where joy is right,  peace worthwhile.

I built a home in this place
abundant with stillness, serenity.

Nothing there but freshness, truth,
a world in which to simply Be.

Walk with me among the sands,
Sit with me beside the rain.

Hold reality at a distance,
Forget a moment, all it’s pain.

24

24.
Near.
What purpose?

There is nothing now.
I struggle for calm
to forget this
gut-wrenching fear
that lies in the pit.
A constant.

Words have not crossed
my lips for hours.
No one checks.
No one cares.

Love is lost.
Hidden in sin
In darkness.

How could you love me?
Why would you try?

Everything now is
played on repeat.
Work, sit, sleep,
Die.

Night’s Sighs

Pounding beat..
Stinging eyes
Fingers crack
As night time sighs.
Forever.
Eternal.
Cut short by the wise.

Words lose meaning,
the keys won’t play.
Lying here lonely,
Wishing lifetime away.
Though it is still
It passes so fast.
Numbness, fear,
How long will it last.

 

No

I remember the pain
Of forceful thrusts
full of greed,
and I’m  afraid.

A two letter word
you didn’t understand
as I lay trapped beneath
your weight, your power.

I shake. I cry.
I try to make sense
of something so beautiful
transformed

into something
that makes me sick
to my very core.

I said no.

Worlds Apart

One Look
was enough –
to remember everything.

We are not friends.
Not foes.
But mere acquaintances.

I remember the boy you were,
the spark that was there,
the forever that never happened.

Now you are theirs –
Your baby girl
Forever yours;
while you were never mine.

One Look enough
to remember
we are worlds apart,

to remember everything
and admit it’s time
to let it all go.

Forever.

Now

Breathing comes easy to those who sleep.
Words are formed with
Hearts and minds
Whose dreams are shattered
From hands that sneak.

Pages are turned so I forget.
Memories lost to
Worlds and lives
That exist so distantly,
More distant yet.

Footsteps fall with mechanical pace.
Moves are made by
Heartless shells with
Nothing more than
lack of grace.

Just a Matter of Time

I wait for you to bring me life
To give me breath,
To make me smile.

I wait for you to pour like rain
upon my roots,
relieve all pain

as I grow and blossom,
spring and shoot.

For now I sit and wait and hope;
For you, someone I do not know.
I wait for you to bring me life.

SOS

When all I want is to feel full,
Why then do I yearn for emptiness?
My mind is burned
With thoughts and thoughts

And thoughts that make me scream.
I shake and wring and pace and breathe
and sigh and ache and yearn and need
Something that I’ll never get.

Something that I’ll never achieve.
Empty me. Abuse me.
Make me forget.